Privacy Policy

My hosting company says I need to be compliant and have a privacy, cookie policy and Terms and Conditions, so here you are, enjoy.

The Information Commissioners Office (ICO) provides a comprehensive overview of the information required in a privacy policy. Your policy must contain:

Your business’s name and contact details - I am not a business this website is not a business, this is my own personal website, you can use my contact form to contact me if you are so inclined.

Your representative’s name and contact details - I have no representative, so there is no name and no contact details because this is not a business.

For what purpose your business processes personal data - I am not a business and I do not collect any data from anyone who visits this website.

The categories of personal data your business obtains - Again I am not a business, I do not collect or store any data

If personal data is transferred to any third countries or international organisations - Apparantly I have to have this on my website, so please do not complain to me, I will not send the data I do not collect to anyone in this contry, another country or any other organisation.

How long personal data is kept. - Because you do not give me any data, personal or otherwise, guess how long I keep it for...

People's rights concerning the processing of their data. - I supose you can contact me and ask for a copy of all data I have on you, I can either send you a blank email or I can make up something if you are that way inclined.

The right to withdraw consent - absolutely, use my contact form to request this.

The right to complain to a supervisory authority - go ahead fill your boots.

Where the personal data was sourced from - ho hum, please read the above again.

The details of whether people are under a statutory or contractual obligation to provide the personal data - ho hum, please read the above again.

The details of the existence of automated decision-making, including profiling - ho hum, please read the above again.

How a person can seek recourse if your business fails to comply with the privacy policy and the UK GDPR and/or Data Protection Act 2018 - ho hum, please read the above again.

You must make sure that your privacy policy is drafted in simple, plain language. Attempting to hide certain things in the ‘small print’ is unlikely to go down well with the UK supervising authority, the ICO. - If you wish I can increase the font size for you so that there is no small print.

Cookie Policy

I do not use cookies to collect anything from you, you are simply allowed to navigate around the site to your hearts content without any interference from me. I do not store any cookies to help you in your navigation nor do I use them to provde you with adverts. Scarey I know but I like it that way, if you wish to read a page, simply click on the link in the navigation. O and by the way, because I donot use cookies I do not have a cookie banner asking you to accept or reject them.

Terms and conditions

I have no idea what I am supposed to write in this portion because, I am not a business, I do not use cookies, I do not store any user information, so I guess the Terms and Conditions are, if you wish to read a page then you click on the link in the navigation. If you get lost in the website then head for Home and start again. If you do not like the content, simple go someplace else and find something you prefer to read.